The INFJ Dark Side
If you are new to the 16 personalities framework, it might be surprising for you to hear that the INFJ has a dark side, given that they are supposed to be one of the most idealistic personality types! However, it’s that very idealism that can sometimes drive INFJs to the edge.
Extremely high expectations
The INFJ has very high expectations of themselves and those around them, and the closer you get to them, the higher the expectations. This is why it can sometimes be difficult for an INFJ to find true love and friendship. It’s not that they don’t want to find it, it’s just that they need it to meet their expectations.
The INFJ will put 100% effort, commitment, and care into their relationships, and they expect you to do the same. If you don’t, then you might find yourself facing the infamous INFJ doorslam.
Harshness
Ever heard the term “the truth will set you free”? The INFJ is the physical embodiment of that phrase. Though the INFJ is known to be high in empathy and kindness, they are not one to sugarcoat their thoughts.
If you ask for their help or opinion, they will tell you the truth as they perceive it and without any fluffiness. They don’t do it to hurt you, but because they genuinely care about you and believe it’s for your own good. Unfortunately, this level of honesty can be too much for some people.
Going into shadow mode
Being extremely idealistic and having high expectations of yourself and those around you is no easy task! It can be really stressful. This intense stress and pressure is what occasionally pushes the INFJ to switch into shadow mode. In shadow mode, the INFJ becomes overindulgent, hedonistic, and even highly extroverted, which might sound paradoxical given they are naturally introverts. Different INFJs manifest this shadow behavior differently. The only way to roughly describe it is by referencing the ESTP. An INFJ in shadow mode mostly resembles an ESTP!
Over-reacting to dishonesty
The INFJ is one of the most talented types at judging people’s actions and intentions. Given their highly principled and idealistic nature, they are prone to reacting harshly when they detect wrong-doing or ill intentions from others. Coupled with the INFJ’s strong insight into human nature and their ability to intuit other people’s insecurities and vulnerabilities, it’s enough to say that crossing an INFJ can have serious consequences.
Complete withdrawal
The INFJ is driven to achieve their full potential and leave their mark on the world. This can lead them to sometimes overwork themselves. Overworking, overcaring for those around them, and the high expectations they place on themselves combined together can lead the INFJ to physical and mental burnout.
When that happens, the INFJ cuts themselves from the whole world and goes into their shell to rest, reflect, and re-energize. So don’t freak out if your INFJ suddenly disappears for 2 weeks! They’re just recharging their batteries.
Conclusion:
The INFJ is a complex personality type. They can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Treat them right and they will give you the world. Cross them, and you might have to face the INFJ doorslam — or worse, their dark side!
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